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About Varied / Hobbyist Member HeatherFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Just as it says. Ready for me to unload all this on you? Let's go. 
My boyfriend of 11 months told me "I love another girl while I love you" about 3 months ago. 
I was about thiiiissss close to dumping his ass. 
"But I hate myself for it, and I love you so much more." 
So I was bitter, jealous, and mean towards her. 
She is his best friend. 
She lives 5 minutes from him. 
I live 4 hours from him. 
I felt like at any moment he would dump me and go for her. 
So we argued all the time about it. 
So he came to visit for a week, and we got pretty damn close...because we forgot the condom (which is a stupid excuse, I know).
When we went to take him home it was kinda sad. 
About 20 minutes from his parents though...we started arguing. 
I told him it hurt to be stuck here. 
I told him when he called her the night before and had her on speaker, I had watched his face.
I told him all about how his eyes looked and his smile looked. 
I told him he never looked at me that way. 
So I asked him to choose between me and her. 
The answer was clear in seconds. 
That was it. 
After reassuring me everyday he loved me more. 
After telling me I was the best person in his life. 
After constantly saying he would never leave me for her. 
After telling me all of this shit that I was better. 
After saying he would never hurt me like Riley did. 
He did.
He hurt me just as bad. 
He reduced me to nothing. 
A broken mess. 
And it's a wait to find out if I'm pregnant. 
And if I am, I'm fucked. 
Everyone I know that can drive is severely against abortion. 
And the one person who wouldn't have asked questions when they drove me, moved. 
If my mom found out, she'd make me keep it.
Not abortion.
Not adoption.
It'd be mine to take care of.
My mom told me a few years ago,
"My grandchildren will not be dead, or raised in someone else's home..if you get pregnant, it's your responsibility."
While I agree it is my responsibility.
And I feel like shit for trying to get rid of that type of responsibility.
However, I have my whole life ahead of me. 
I don't need this shit. 
I was stupid, and I regret it. 
Not anything I can do now. 
My life will be ruined. 
And I've been crying since 10. 
Its now 2:30. 
I need sleep. 
  • Mood: Screwed


ThisIsMe13's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
So I'm Heather.
I am a Junior in High School.
I am pansexual, so please, if you're a homophobe stay far away from me.
I am absolutely obsessed with music.
I love a little bit of this and that from every genre.
Some of my favorite bands and musicians are MCR, Green Day, Regina Spektor, Owl City, Fiona Apple, FIR, ETF, The Misfits, A7X, and many many many many MANY more. I adore dead trees and I have lists of my "Fall Music and Summer Music", but I never seem to listen to them at the right time.
I love cats, but I have a dog. (Weird, right?)
I am weird, but for some reason I seem to find people who love me.
I am OBSESSED with Netflix.
"Wearing a mask is a part time job, but Deviant Art is where I can take off my mask."

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cybershmunky Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014

Also hope you had a safe, healthy and happy birthday

:rose: :party: :cake:

ThisIsMe13 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you(:
cybershmunky Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
:llama: for the purrddy lady
ThisIsMe13 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol thanks
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013
thanks for the fave :D
I-AiWon-I Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist
thank you for the favee <3
HisBeautifulRose Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so for the watch!
ThisIsMe13 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
ThisIsMe13 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
pomohippie7 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much for the favorite. :heart:
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